Monday, May 3, 2010

Why Raleigh can’t go to the Dog Park - The Scandalous Truth

“Raleigh is, as of yet, unreliable off lead.” Those are the trainer’s words. But believe me, there’s so much more to tell.
Taking a dog to a dog park is like going with a date to a college soiree. It’s a great way to bore to the meaty center of your dog’s character, to see what lies beneath the training and good grooming.
Dogs at a dog park, like dates at a party, can be divided into three categories:

Category one: The gold standard.
This date is marriage material. He is polite and attentive. He doesn’t really care where he is, he is just glad to be with you. He listens politely to everything you say and attends to your every wish. Marry him before he gets away.

Category two: The roamer.
This guy loves a party. Don’t get me wrong, he is glad you are there with him. But he finds the pull of others irresistible and simply must have a word with everyone in attendance.
The date on the high end of category two will make the rounds from one end of the party to the other dragging you along by the hand. The date on the low end of this category will sit you on the couch and leave on the auspices of getting you both a beer. The rest of the night you will receive short obligatory visits as he moves from group to interesting group.

Category three: this date is what I call the “free radical”.
As soon as he gets to the party he forgets he ever had a date. Or that you exist at all. He enters the room with a Tarzan yell like a second grader on a field trip whose Mom forgot to give him his Ritalin. This date spends the rest of the night swinging from chandeliers, dancing on tables, groping members of the opposite sex and drinking beer straight from the nozzle of the keg.
You can always tell the date of the free radical. She is the one you heard crying in the bathroom just before she laid a quarter mile of rubber squealing her own, or her date’s, tires out of the parking lot.
Unfortunately, Raleigh falls into the third category. I am the owner, empty leash in hand, who runs through the park yelling her dog’s name as he rips through the grass. He body slams people, runs through the mud and tries to hump every dog that takes the time to say hello to him.
This puts strain on a relationship. This is why Raleigh and I socialize in smaller, more controlled groups.
Dears, if you simply must keep this one? I recommend a choke chain and a very short lead.

1 comment:

  1. I am really enjoying reading Raleigh's blog. I don't think i've ever read anything you wrote and i've gotta tell you that I love it. You keep me very interested in what you're talking about and makes me want to check back everyday to see if you wrote anything new. :]

    As for the dog park, Leana Little has got to be category one. She never leaves our side and to be quite honest, she's really boring. I'll trade you for a day :D She'll sniff a couple bums here and there but she doesn't run anywhere or get in the water. I told Elliott that the only reason we go is for me, I have soooo much fun there!